Being powerful in any situation

Sometimes it is really hard to know what the right path for yourself is. It is made even harder when it is buried under a pile of stuff.

The right path for you follows a route where you experience peacefulness, power, flow and joy.  You will have had times in your life when you know that you are going in exactly the right direction – it seems natural, and your enjoyment is at its highest. These are also times when you are simultaneously moving in line with what you are committed to – that’s why those times seem to be so powerful.

A commitment is something which you are dedicated to supporting in some way. You may be committed to your family, your own health, the success of your business, to a particular football team. When you are able to create a mental picture that inspires you of your commitments, you feel great, and any actions you take towards those commitments are fun and rewarding.

There are times when the same commitments can feel like a burden, or obligation, and you experience no joy and freedom around them. Yet the only thing that has changed is how you feel about them – the object of your commitment is still the same.

When this happens, most people blame ‘the world out there’, excuses ranging from their upbringing to the weather, or the economy, or someone else. In reality though, at that point they are not being responsible for themselves, as they feel powerless, a victim of circumstances. When you stop blaming everything else and take responsibility for your own feelings, it is possible to change your experience of the events around you. By moving from obligation to willingness, the world occurs as a very different place, and a much more enjoyable one to live in. You get your power back.

The cause of a change in your feeling comes from an upset. An upset occurs when you are triggered into a repeated, reactive and unconscious pattern of behaviour. The trigger is your ego’s way of warning you that if you do not take action now, you will end up being hurt. So you play out the same old protection methods you have used since you learned them when you were little, as a way of avoiding the feeling of powerlessness.

An upset can occur when something you have expected to happen has not. Examples of these include when someone has not communicated with you when they said they would, or has become angry, or not paid you on time, or when you have let someone down. Upsets lead to a lowering of your energy, so you end up in the spectrum of feelings somewhere near the bottom of the pile – in anger, fear, apathy or despair, and that is when your commitments start feeling like a burden.

By taking action around upsets as soon as you distinguish them, you can maintain your energy at the higher end of the spectrum, and stay in line with your commitments in a way which is fulfilling rather than a chore.

A great practice to take on is to check with yourself on a daily basis whether you are carrying any upsets around with you. With practice, you can spot them very soon after they happen, deal with them quickly, and keep yourself clear.

Something I do is help people locate upsets they have been carrying for some time, in many cases years. By clearing them out, they are free to experience the joy, freedom and energy they desire to be able to fulfil their commitments.

Life becomes easier. Who wouldn’t want that?

About theclaritycoach

Paul Stonehouse is an experienced coach, educator and speaker, and is completely committed to helping people perform at their best. His particular passion is helping people move forward when they are stuck, enabling them to live and work a in a way which is a confident expression of their true selves.
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