Listen, so you hear it the first time

Have you ever said to someone something like ‘…you’re the third person who’s said that to me in the last few days…’?

We are exposed to enormous amounts of information on a daily basis, so become adept at filtering out what we think we don’t need, in an attempt to manage the bits we think we do want to hear or use. The inevitable consequence of this is that some stuff will go past unnoticed, because we do not think it relevant at the time.

But when you notice that this may be the second or third time you have heard someone talk about something, listen well – it may be time to take some action.

Someone has been trying to tell you something for some time and you may have just not been able to hear it.

These repeated messages are worth listening to, because they are often precursors to important shifts, or ‘aha moments’ in your life. They can be the last bit of the jigsaw to fall into place before you feel like, or are able to act.

Revelations or ‘aha moments’ occur around important things in our lives, and we usually feel significantly better once they have appeared. So why can it take several attempts before the final message is heard? Wouldn’t it be better if we could just hear it once and then act on it?

It can take several attempts to hear what is relevant because we have our own ideas and theories of what we should expect to hear. When we don’t hear what we think we should be hearing, we ignore what we actually are hearing. It’s a bit like asking a question you don’t know the answer to, then eliminating all the answers because they do not fit with what you think the answers should be.

This little mechanism keeps us within the illusion of feeling secure, by placing a level of predictability on the outcome – you only ask questions you are pretty sure of the answers to. And you want answers that are inline with your own ideas so that you can solve a problem. But your predicted answers keep you in the loop of having answers that don’t move you forward, so you stay stuck.

If you just listened to people around you, without any expectation of what you are going to hear, there may be something in there for you that can help.

That’s when you get unexpected shifts in your life or a situation you have been dealing with for some time.

So let go of thinking you know what the answers are in a conversation, and listen without any expectation of what information will be coming back to you. You may find that you get some unexpected, great and very useful answers.

About theclaritycoach

Paul Stonehouse is an experienced coach, educator and speaker, and is completely committed to helping people perform at their best. His particular passion is helping people move forward when they are stuck, enabling them to live and work a in a way which is a confident expression of their true selves.
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1 Response to Listen, so you hear it the first time

  1. Sally Branch says:

    Yes, totally agree Paul. I’s a bit like when you are wholly focused on something and gradually realise that someone has been calling your name several times – yet you only just heard. I’ve been doing some work on who I coach- looking at my niche, that is, and now I’m clearer I’m getting messages all over the place that are helping me clarify.

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