A toleration is something you live with or put up with, but don’t really like. Over time, you get so used to it being there you do not even notice it, until that is, something triggers you into doing so.
In conversation with a coaching client recently, she started becoming aware of some of the compromises she was making in her life – being away from her family during the week at work, having very little autonomy in her job, working with a boss who has no interest in her development, being underutilized and doing a job she no longer felt any connection with. The impact of these was starting to affect her health, and she described her experience of life as being ‘pretty joyless at the moment’.
She decided to make a list of her tolerations in all areas of her life, including her relationships with her family and friends, her health and career. Once she had been ruthlessly honest in identifying what she was putting up with in those areas, she started addressing the ones which were fairly quick to deal with and has gradually built up to the bigger issues she has been less willing to tackle as her confidence has grown.
Already, in just a few weeks she has become noticeably more energetic, confident and calm, and has more energy to engage in the things she loves. In particular, she has become much clearer about her future career direction.
What are you putting up with, or tolerating? What compromises are you making, just to keep the status quo? Once you start to identify these things, you can choose whether you want to do anything about them. Be sure that if you don’t, things will stay as you have been experiencing them.