Why people with low self-esteem find it hard to network

Just a thought. Have you ever wondered how networking and self-esteem are linked?

If you find the thought of active networking repellent, you are not alone. We are bombarded with messages that we should all be networking like crazy; it’s the best way of doing business, through personal contact, or through networking sites and social media like Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and many others.

For those of us who grew up learning that talking about yourself is as big a sin as showing off, the thought of putting yourself out there and telling everyone what you do, how good you are and how useful you could be is very frightening – it goes directly against the grain of our conditioning. It is tantamount to being a bighead and being seen as rude, arrogant and self-promoting. I for one grew up in a household where expressions like ‘empty vessels make the most noise’ were held in high regard as a guide to good behaviour, which meant I tended to keep quiet and listen more. Although learning to listen is a very admirable and useful skill (and would it would be great if more people had mastery of it) there are times when not expressing who you are and what you think be disabling.

People with lowish self-esteem can also use these excuses to stop promoting themselves. They don’t like to put themselves and their thoughts out into the world because they are frightened that no one wants to hear what they have to say anyway, or that their view is in anyway important. The risk for these sensitive souls is that they could find out it’s true – nobody does care what they have to say, and they are ignored, or not heard. The feelings of frustration, rejection and worthlessness are ones that are so unpleasant, they must be avoided at all costs, and they find networking and it’s associated risks terrifying, so don’t do it.

The good news is that there is a wonderful little tool now on the market called a Snapaband. A Snapaband works by helping you overcome the thoughts and feelings that can get in the way of whatever it is that you want to achieve. So if you want to expand your networks, but are fearful of the processes involved in doing so, try one out. By overcoming the thoughts and feelings that come up when you look at making a change or taking on something new, you are freed up to move forward into whatever it is that you want. Applied in a networking situation, it could mean that people will get to hear what you have to offer, which they would not have done before.

You never know – they might like it, and want to be in your network too!

Have a look at http://www.snapaband.com – it could make all the difference.

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About theclaritycoach

Paul Stonehouse is an experienced coach, educator and speaker, and is completely committed to helping people perform at their best. His particular passion is helping people move forward when they are stuck, enabling them to live and work a in a way which is a confident expression of their true selves.
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