Taking one more step

Have you ever experienced feeling like you are on the edge of a breakthrough, and looking down into the void you suddenly get a great fear of all the things that could go wrong, yet you know that there is only one way to go?

All that is required is one step.

And yet you have the utmost wish not to take that step. All your barking dogs (the voices in your head that stop you going out of your comfort zone and putting yourself at risk) are going frantic. Maybe your heart is pounding, you feel tired, stuck, unwilling and would do almost anything to not be there.

Because it’s a new experience, you don’t know for sure what is going to happen. You might have some idea of what events could turn out like, from wildly fun and exciting, to it all going disastrously wrong and you crashing and burning. But you don’t know for sure.

This situation occurs for many people when they are on a coaching journey. It is part of the growing process. We set up our lives to avoid being confronted in this way, so that they never have to step over fears and ‘what ifs’. These ‘cliff top decisions’ can occur in all areas of your life – from saying what is unsayable in a relationship, to making the right choices about career direction, to taking on big financial commitments without knowing for sure that they are affordable.

Some people decide to ‘leap’, and just like those who don’t, they don’t know for sure what is going to happen. Not knowing does not stop them leaping.

The difference comes from attitude and belief. If you believe that you will be fine, everything will be OK, remarkably enough, most of the time it is. Sure, there may be setbacks, but when they are dealt with inside the belief of ‘this will turn out just fine’, they are usually quickly resolved.

Correspondingly, if you believe that it will all go horribly wrong, you will see the smallest setback as an indicator of impending doom, and be looking for further evidence to support your expectation of failure.

Either belief will produce a result. But taking the leap will probably almost certainly produce the breakthrough, and life will never be the same again. Once you have experienced going beyond where you would normally go, you cannot go back. Your playground has expanded, and your freedom increases. You grow, and life moves on. And later on you do not have the regret of knowing that you could have, and didn’t.

Stepping out when most confronted provides a different experience of the world. Some describe it as ‘the difference between watching television in black and white, and colour’, or ‘feeling like a lot of little weights on strings have been removed’.

My experience of helping clients with breakthroughs is that those who do confront their fears and ‘jump’ often experience a great excitement, then a huge feeling of peace. Peace is one of the most desirable outcomes possible. The world becomes an amazing place.

If you find yourself in this position and would like help having the courage to take that ‘one more step’, do contact me. I promise I won’t push you into something you don’t want to take on!

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About theclaritycoach

Paul Stonehouse is an experienced coach, educator and speaker, and is completely committed to helping people perform at their best. His particular passion is helping people move forward when they are stuck, enabling them to live and work a in a way which is a confident expression of their true selves.
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2 Responses to Taking one more step

  1. Neil says:

    Very pertinent Paul!

  2. debbie says:

    Your posts are wonderful and really enlightening Paul.

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